The Business Trip, the three course meal, the dessert with cream, the apperitif, the wine, the grappa, the whisky chaser...and the trousers no longer fit. New trousers as a result of Business eating should be a justifiable tax exempt Business Expense.
The jet lagged early morning start, the Hotel gym, the cycling machine without the 'how to start' manual. The seat requiring weight training arms to bring it down a sizeable chunk, after the last Gigantuan used it. As the local Adonises pump iron, the superfit Business Manager runs flat out and goes nowhere. I press 'Quickstart' and the wobbling mass appears to disconnect from any bodily reality experience, as out-of-body resonances cause concern to the Building foundations that would frighten a certain Mr Richter. The structural Engineers re-visit their calculations and call for the mandatory increase of safety margins.
Fatties of the Businesss world unite and call for the ban of three course meals, make salads compulsory especially if inducing diet-enhancing diarrhoea. Although come to think of it,that may be the emergency diet option of the fatty.
Showing posts with label Training. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Training. Show all posts
Sunday, 6 December 2009
Sunday, 16 August 2009
A shovel is a spade
Let us call a shovel a shovel so that the do-gooders and do-betters do not misinterpret my deck of cards. Cultural awareness can be a challenge. Sometimes in the wrong way.
Once in order to avoid embarassing Business cultural exchanges that may jeopardise a deal over a misplaced gesture, we undertook cultural training at the considerable expense of the Company. Negotiation skills, cultural awareness and communication skills, whatever.
As an aside if I recall once being taught negotiating skills by this large Brummie lady who had negotiated a big food deal in the West Midlands that may have been...ooo...worth hundreds of pence. Now her weekly shopping she was done, which probably included a large portion of Mars bars and your bum does look big in anything really, now she was training us, as an expert in negoptiation. Her CV writing skills were probably very good. Sometimes big companies spend money on the big idea, the big tick in the box and the net result is not quite value for money. But armed with course notes, knowledgeable on how to survive a plane crash in a desert with a varied team I was ready to venture into the real world.
Then fully trained in cultural awareness so that I could recognise a 'I do not understand' as a 'No'. We went into battle, a negotiation with the Chinese and a thousand of my bows of introduction later; my colleague across the table smiled a thousand times at my courtesy that he had not seen outside his London based posting for probably a few years. I was a looking a little niaive, methinks. I was a novice in international negotiation, and he was an old hand used to the non-culturally aware Brits.
On another tangent in the Middle East, at some ex-pat social club this nice Brit ex-pat fella who had been demonstrably respectul to our hosts, now here turned on the fellow ex-pat of sorts at our sides. An ex-pat Indian immigrant that served our food, after serving us drinks and probably later cleaned the floors of our drunken mishaps. My Brit colleague raised his voice to exort his colonial best digust at his speed of foot in serving us, or not yet serving us. He turned to berate this man in terms to leave the social status understood by all there. We sat in our confortable chairs, I lowering my eyes and my colleague tossing his eyes upwards, whilst our fellow less fortunate went to toss the salad hopefully without the spittle special sauce we may have deserved.
PS- A tip for increasing the odds of surviving a plane crash in a desert is to fly with a reputable Company.
Once in order to avoid embarassing Business cultural exchanges that may jeopardise a deal over a misplaced gesture, we undertook cultural training at the considerable expense of the Company. Negotiation skills, cultural awareness and communication skills, whatever.
As an aside if I recall once being taught negotiating skills by this large Brummie lady who had negotiated a big food deal in the West Midlands that may have been...ooo...worth hundreds of pence. Now her weekly shopping she was done, which probably included a large portion of Mars bars and your bum does look big in anything really, now she was training us, as an expert in negoptiation. Her CV writing skills were probably very good. Sometimes big companies spend money on the big idea, the big tick in the box and the net result is not quite value for money. But armed with course notes, knowledgeable on how to survive a plane crash in a desert with a varied team I was ready to venture into the real world.
Then fully trained in cultural awareness so that I could recognise a 'I do not understand' as a 'No'. We went into battle, a negotiation with the Chinese and a thousand of my bows of introduction later; my colleague across the table smiled a thousand times at my courtesy that he had not seen outside his London based posting for probably a few years. I was a looking a little niaive, methinks. I was a novice in international negotiation, and he was an old hand used to the non-culturally aware Brits.
On another tangent in the Middle East, at some ex-pat social club this nice Brit ex-pat fella who had been demonstrably respectul to our hosts, now here turned on the fellow ex-pat of sorts at our sides. An ex-pat Indian immigrant that served our food, after serving us drinks and probably later cleaned the floors of our drunken mishaps. My Brit colleague raised his voice to exort his colonial best digust at his speed of foot in serving us, or not yet serving us. He turned to berate this man in terms to leave the social status understood by all there. We sat in our confortable chairs, I lowering my eyes and my colleague tossing his eyes upwards, whilst our fellow less fortunate went to toss the salad hopefully without the spittle special sauce we may have deserved.
PS- A tip for increasing the odds of surviving a plane crash in a desert is to fly with a reputable Company.
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