Domestic appliances Gone wild

We came, we saw and we had several meetings and one obligatory site visit. The minor incursion to foreign lands ends in retreat. The necessary verbal jarring may have settled a few scores, now executive bruises are tended by perhaps a medically-approved whisky, perhaps an herbal tea, the journey home has been endured, Business class bed sores are narrowly avoided by extensive turning, a child-size T-shirt bought as a penance for not being there, a make-do present with no discount, an airport taxi has been addressed to a nearby town and a large sum exchanged followed by pennies and a receipt.

Door is opened, a hero has returned. Hero to fix the cupboard draw thats has happened to fall apart of its own accord apparently, the maths problem left unsolved for week requires resolving with an explanation involving something I knew twenty years ago, the washing machine has flooded the laminate floor now crinkled at its edges; and disarmingly the family seems to be calling me Noah. The day has just begun.

A brain on slow-mo now faces a B Movie nightmare, a B Movie where radioactivity is coloured green, what I used to call Sums is now called Mathematics and by damn....Mathematics have gone Quadratic and I appear to have missed the Triatic, let alone Biatic. And as a last straw apparently domestic appliances have gone wild. There is a film-direct -to-DVD to be made here.

I am invited to do things, without a cursory smile, without a merest sign of love, without an obligatory kiss of liking or even recognition. Instead I am given instructions, that I should know where the toolbox is, since I was the one that used it last, .... guilty as charged sir....and the washing machine instruction manual should be...maybe could be in the cardboard box marked "stuff" or was it "kitchen stuff". I am not the bright executive here.

I was a jet-lagged executive about to sign the Big Deal. And by a metamorphosis that should, at least, require eating some spinach, I am a Mathematics teacher, a time travelling student genius and a Handyman.

Roll end credits.