Return of the Village Idiot

I sit watching 'Sky News' as a remembrance......a lingering link..... a comfy chair look to the Homeland and as a non-link to the Fatherland in which residency papers remain un read and unreadable in this foreign tongue. So I watch TV in a language that makes me feel human, a conduit to intelligent a part of a world that understands me as intelligent. I am alone, the family is on a recky raiding local shops and hopefully using credit cards with a common sense; that there is so many shoes one needs; as unless the radioactive alarm bell has not rung in the last twenty or thirty years we all have only two feet....and shoes come in pairs aswell. I fear I may be wrong and they may be some time.


A phone rings. A phone speaks in tongues to me. I understand. I speak in tongues back. This could be a religious experience and I may need to write a Biblical Apostle in the near future. It is a miracle of understanding. My tongues and her tongues have a common ground in that certain words are common, my tongues and her tongues are different that other certain words are different, possibly wrong in context, possibly incorrect in pronounciation, very probably completely stupid in word order. It is a miracle ....I have regressed.... I st..stut...stut...ter.... I ra...amble..... I am a child......I speak in the equivalent of joined up writing. A psychiatrist could dredge up a significant repressed memories at this point, if only I was not sweating profusely, cursing the fact I could not swear in her tongue and in my own adds to the melee, and I am rumamging the brain for the local word for 'out'. I am an idiot. My partner in speaking tongues is patient and understands I am stupid, she knows this will be some time, but she probably needs to buy some shoes as ladies do.

I speak as if I need to know why the red rectangular block does not fit into the blue circular hole. I have regressed from a Business Executive to a Village Idiot, courtesy of trying to say a simple sentence 'my family is out and please ring later'. She hangs up.

Where is my collection of Learn Alespaneek in 5 days.

Sky News is switched off. A dictionary comes out of the closet.